So, you might be pondering over the 25th of May, the day Lena & I get married... Well, let me tell you, look no further than a few mouse scrolls down the page to reveal all...

If you have never been to an Indian wedding before, here is what to expect on the day;

  1. Expect a lot of commotion, people talking in ones and twos and even in large groups, including children running around during the entire ceremony – this is normal.
  2. Music blaring away in the forefront/background.
  3. Luncheon arrangements – you will have to queue up for the Indian buffet and bring your plate back to your seating area.
  4. Group photos will be taken towards the end of the ceremony (before the Vidai).
  5. Gifts can be exchanged when the group photographs are taken towards the end of the ceremony.
  6. There are no restrictions on taking personal photographs and/or small movie clips – just be mindful that the professional photographer(s) will have priority over all and may be abrupt on the odd occasion for you to make way as some situations cannot be re-created and need to be captured at the time of the ceremony.

Key milestones for taking pictures;

  1. Alpesh’s arrival into the venue.
  2. Lena’s arrival to the Mandap.
  3. Kanya Daan.
  4. Mangal Fhera.
  5. Kansaar.
  6. Mangal Sutra offering.
  7. Your own group photo (ask somebody nearby to take your picture for you).
  8. Ashirvad.
  9. Vidai - (personal photo’s should really be avoided here).
  10. Departure of the Bride & Groom.

Our Indian Wedding Itinerary


The Welcoming Ceremony

Ponkana (Welcoming of the Groom): Alpesh is greeted by Lena’s mother, Premila. She will perform a welcoming ceremony in the presence of the Priest, who will be reciting holy verses. The ritual is performed to ward off any evil spirits that Alpesh may have encountered on his journey to the wedding. Alpesh is then required to break the Saapath (the earthen clay pot), which is placed under his right foot. The Groom steps on this pot and crushes it into many pieces – demonstrating he has the power to overcome all obstacles. The Groom then enters in the wedding venue with his family and sits down for the Kalwoo (welcoming breakfast) and thereafter proceeds to the Mandap. The Mandap is where the main ceremony will take place; it is a four pillar structure and each pillar symbolises Lena & Alpesh’s parents.

Ganesh Pooja (Worship of Lord Ganesh)

This Pooja (prayer) is offered to Lord Ganesh on the morning of the wedding. Lord Ganesh, deity of peace and remover of all obstacles, is asked to prevail during the ceremony and throughout the lives of the newlyweds. By following the rituals, they infuse courage, peace of mind and inner strength to endure life’s potential suffering. During the Pooja, Lena’s father will wash Alpesh’s right foot with milk and honey signifying that from today, we formally in the presence of the elders, will respect your wishes and are elated with this matrimony.

Lena's Arrival

Before Lena arrives at the Mandap, an Antarpata (cloth sheet) is held in front of Alpesh. The essence behind the cloth is a symbolic tease to prolong Alpesh from seeing Lena’s beauty. Lena will walk down the main aisle, escorted to the Mandap by Bharat (Lena’s brother) and her cousin brothers. She will be seated opposite Alpesh. Lena’s mother will formally greet her daughter by marking her forehead with red powder and washing Lena’s feet. The cloth held in front of Alpesh is removed and the first meeting of Lena & Alpesh on their wedding day begins with a greeting, symbolised by an exchange of garlands. Alpesh will welcome Lena to a new life and promise to look after her – the flowers represent beauty, colour and happiness.

Hastamelap (The Joining of Hands)

In this ceremony, Lena and Alpesh’s right hands are joined together while the Priest recites holy verses. This ceremony signifies that by joining hands, two hearts have also been joined together and symbolises Alpesh’s acceptance of Lena and Lena’s acceptance of Alpesh as each others eternal partner. A white cotton thread which has been wound round 24 times (symbolising different characteristics and virtues of human life), is placed upon the shoulders of Lena and Alpesh – further symbolising to both families and the wedding guests that both Alpesh and Lena are commencing the journey of matrimony together.

Kanya Daan (Giving the Bride Away)

Lena’s father performs the Kanya Daan, which is the traditional ceremony of giving away the daughter. Lena’s parents are the first to bless the new couple during the marriage. As a condition for offering their daughter for marriage, they request a promise from Alpesh for assisting Lena in realising three ends; Dharma (the path of righteousness), Artha (the need to earn wealth jointly) and Kama (the importance respecting each other’s family and raising a family of their own). Alpesh makes the promise by repeating thrice that he will not fail Lena in realising the three ends. The Priest then ties their garments (Lena’s Sari to Alpesh’s shawl) in a knot, symbolising the sacred union, which is the first link between Bride and Groom.

Mangal Feras (Walking around the Holy Fire)

A small open fire is lit under the Mandap in the centre as an invitation to the God of Fire (Agni) to witness the marriage. Earth, Fire, Water, Wind and Sky (Atmosphere) are nature’s creation that has to be respected and the couple are reminded that they have taken their vows with this knowledge. Only fire has the capability to separate the bond of unity between the couple and if fire does not separate the bond, nothing else will. For each Mangal Fera, Lena’s brother and cousin brothers will fill the palms of the couple with grains of rice, oats and leaves which signify wealth, good health, prosperity and happiness. This will be offered to the fire as a sacrifice of all the worldly possessions in return for the blessings given during Kanya Daan. The couple will walk round the sacred fire four times (which are the Mangal Feras) – reinforcing Dharma, Artha, Kama & Moksha. Each time they walk round the fire, they will stop to touch a stone with their feet and offer a prayer for their mutual love to be firm and stead like the stone.

The four Mangal Feras (circles) signify the four pillars in the couple’s life together:

  1. Dharma – Righteousness (morals, values and social duty)
  2. Artha – Prosperity (to earn an honest livelihood)
  3. Kama – Happiness (love and family)
  4. Moksha – Spiritual (to seek enlightenment and salvation)

During the first three Mangal Feras, Lena follows Alpesh round the fire. It is in the last round that Lena leads Alpesh. Beyond and above, the last round represents the gift of the bride herself to her new family. At the end of the ceremony, Lena stands to Alpesh’s left where she has taken a place closest to his heart. After the fourth circle, Lena and Alpesh compete to be first to sit down. In the past, this tradition was thought to predict who would dominate the marriage, as it is noted that these simple traits and gestures could reveal Lena’s modesty, resourcefulness and intelligence. Today, this scene carries much less significance since Lena and Alpesh are both aware of this tradition, making it more competitive than insightful.

Saptapaadi (Life’s seven steps)

Lena and Alpesh take seven steps to symbolise their entry into married life. Each step will be taken by touching seven beetle nuts, representing the seven principles and promises to each other;

  1. Remain together for the rest of their lives
  2. Embrace each other's families as their own
  3. To respect each other and look after one another as equals
  4. Support each other during good and bad times
  5. To raise and care for our children
  6. To love each other with heart and soul and to be loyal companions for life
  7. Share religious duties, financial wealth (or burdens) and family duties

Kansaar (Offering of Sweets)

Lena’s mother feeds sweets (a sweet made from wheat, jaggery; solidified sugar cane juice and ghee - purified butter) to the married couple. Lena and Alpesh will also feed each other accepting the requirement to provide nourishment to each other.

Sindoor & Mangal Sutra (Declaration of Marriage)

Alpesh applies kunkoo (red powder) to the parting of Lena’s hair. This represents Alpesh accepting Lena as his lawful wedded wife. He then places a Mangal Sutra (sacred necklace) around Lena’s neck. This is a symbol of good fortune, love, affection & friendship and promises lifelong protection by placing the Mangal Sutra on Lena’s neck. The Priest will then explain the marriage vows. Lena and Alpesh are now pronounced husband and wife.

Ashirwad (Blessing)

The Priest blesses the married couple on behalf of the Gods and Goddesses. Lena and Alpesh then seek the blessing of their parents, relatives and other family members for a happy and a prosperous marriage.

Vidai (Farewell)

This is the farewell to Lena from her parents, brother, sister, relatives and friends. This is the most emotional event of the entire wedding ceremony, where Lena is leaving her parental home to build an entirely new life with Alpesh and his immediate family. She leaves with tears of joy and sorrow, but carries the best wishes of all who witnessed her wedding ceremony.

Pâydu-sichwanu

The Priest will place a whole coconut under the front wheel of the wedding car before it departs for Lena’s new home and waits for it to be broken by the weight of the car. This ensures that the wheels are road worthy for the journey as in the old days the bride and the groom would begin their journey home on a horse drawn carriage. The breaking of the coconut also signifies the everlasting blessing from the ancestors from both sides.

The Pâydu-sichwanu concludes the entire ceremony.

Finally

The Hindu marriage ceremony has to be performed in front of both parents and the family/community elders at a high spiritual level and in a spiritual atmosphere. Marriage is regarded as a union of two souls to help each other in their spiritual evolution. Lena and Alpesh are no longer two independent beings, but one integrated personality united by firm resolve to fulfil each other in every aspect of life – supported at all times by each other’s immediate family members.

We hope that you have enjoyed today’s experience and would like to thank you for attending our wedding and making it a happy and memorable occasion for us.

With Compliments – Lena & Alpesh